Fallen Angel is my Dream

I rush to the end of the mountain as the gun shots came behind me. The sound made my mind wonder, would I make it or will they caught me? Will there be another way home if I don't go this way?I hope so. As I reached the end of the pointed hill and I opened my wings and jumped....



~KBM

To Molly

I told him I was gonna die alone. No children, no lover, nothing.
When he asked me why I simply said, "Because I know no one will ever love me like I want them to. I feel they might just break my heart in the end."
What I said later became a fact when he walked away without saying a word....


A couple years later, it was our reunion, I saw him smiling showing off his family pictures.When he asked me how I was holding up.
"I saw you on the newspaper, are you sure you're okay?" He asked in a whisper when we were alone at corner table.
I nodded, "Yes. I'm fine, just a couple cuts and buries. Nothing too bad." Recalling the event.
"How it happen? I heard what happen but I want to know from you, first person." He said grabbing a drink.
I told him the story. It was early winter when this event happened to me, I was only 22 starting off in a new apartment in a downtown city. I was out at a local bar just watching the football game with a friend, when a male came up to me and offered to buy me and my friend a drink. We agreed to his terms and let him sit with us. I was shy and didn't speak unless the question was towards me.
My friend, on the other hand, was keeping him busy. Jokes after jokes, laugh after laugh. Soon it was 3 am- closing time- the man gave us his number and  then walked off, nothing seemed to worry me. We waited for the bus to come. The man that we meant previously at the bar drove up to us.
"Need a lift?" He asked.
"No thanks." I replayed
"What about your friend, she need a lift?"
I shook my head, "No thanks, we live in the same place so no use in-" My friend cut me off.
"Of course we could use a lift!" With that she spun around laughing.
The man waved for us to go over to his car and then let us in.
I sat in the front and my friend sat in the back.
After I gave me directions to our apartment he nodded and drove. Sometime between me noticing we drove past the lot I began to freak out. I told him he missed a turn.
"No I didn't we're in the right track." he said, then locked the car doors. "Just for safety," He grinned.
I began to kick. Scared out of my mind. The man knocked me out with one hit to the head. My head hit the dash board.
I awoke a couple hours later to screams. My arms where chained to some kind of wall.
The screams where my friends.
"Stop! Please!" I tried to pull away from the wall only to be disappointed.
"Molly! Molly!" I yelled.
"Shut her up." A male said, didn't sound like the man that took us.
I heard a 'Bang' moments later and silence filled the air. I later found out that was a gun shot. Molly died without anymore pain done to her.
I kicked when the man tired to take me from her body when I found her. I screamed, yelled, cussed, and bit. Then soon shot me in the arm to stop me from anymore movement.
I went out cold because of blood lost.
The next time I woke was in a white room. I had a IV in my wrist and a strong headache. The doctor said I would be all right and I would have to stay in the hospital for a couple months. after I fully recovered I asked about the man who tired to kill me. The police answered easily.
"He has been charged with rape, murder, and man-slaughtering 19 other females before you. Well 19 so far, many females are still  missing and we think he has something to do with it."
I asked why haven't they arrested him before this? Before they killed Molly? He answered with a "Don't know" and walked out of the room.
I moved back to my hometown after Molly's funeral that winter. Life became hard on me. I had no reason to trust people, I didn't talk much to people. I would have nightmares over Molly and the last few moments I had left with my roommate.
After I finished the story with him. He scratched his head and nodded.
"Well, looks like life has been hard on you, but hopefully they put that man in prison for live."
"For Molly's sake I hope he gets worse." I mumbled.
He raised his glass, "For Molly, may we one day see her again." He raised his glass and so did I.
"For Molly," I repeated.
----------------------------------------
Might make a story of this or it could stand as a short story.



~KBM

Love, Peace, Life

Love is great.
Love is powerful.
Love solves problems.
Love makes me be me.

Love is us.


Peace is wonderful.
Peace is a dream.
Peace solves wars.
Peace makes friends.

Peace is in our mind.

Life is Hell.
Life is never fair.
Life is good.
Life is a musical.

Life is our happiness.
~KBM

I Wish

I wish for days of:
      Love
              Happiness
                               Carefree
I bed for days of:
       Smiles
                  Laughter
                               Timeless moments
I dream of days of:
        Worry free
                         Drama free
                                           Endless sunsets
Then when I'm done.....
                                      I close my eyes and think of you....

My life complete....


~KBM

Some days

Some days are wise, sweet, and clam
Some days are stupid, bitter, and loud
Some days you smile, laugh, and enjoy every waking moment
Some days you frown, cry, and wonder why
Some days are the most important
Some days are the most forgettable
But the days that still come will run out... Some day you will wish for these days back, so make the best of every moment... Before it's too late.


~KBM

My Tale on a Romeo and Juliet Story.

I remember the night we promised our endless love.

I remember we became our own love story that came out of the rumble of our ancestors wars.

My name was given away so that we can be together.

We are just like those two: brave, strong, and easily ready to fight for our love.

To me you are my Romeo.

And to you, I am your Juliet. We don't hate each other but our parent's parents do.

They fight over stupid things as if they were children playing with fire, they will get burned.

We are the start of a new era- one with peace and happiness for all.

But to get there we need to first get through the era of sorrow and death.

This isn't your olden day Romeo and Juliet no it's more of "A tale of shadows: When two worlds bring one light."

-KBM

Do You Really Want This?

I might only write a couple things down in my life time but that doesn't mean they don't have meanings. If I write down about the past it gives it something a purpose, if I write down something that just happened it's the news. If I write something that I think might happen it's a vision of what might happen...
Yes, I write about death, murder, and suicide, and other dark things. But that's only because the world hasn't really given me any real proof that there's anything other then dark stuff here. They taught me the world isn't full of nice people, place, events. That the world is full of death, war, and suffering. They showed me the world was cruel and how heartless people can get. They gave me the pen and told me to write down what I see and I see this world. Hard and cruel. I became a puppet to them and they were my master...
But don't forget about all the other writing I've done before, too, the happy ones. The ones about love, finding that missing piece, or greeting your long lost child that has been gone for over 10 years. Or when the war was over and how the white flag shot up out of the ground and how the people cheered. I write for piece, hope, and to tell people we were once this way so what changed us to be heartless?
My writing is just a slim piece of my plan to make this world whole again. Before religion, before races mattered, before it was wrong to be proud of what you are. The good times. And hopefully one day my dream will be set. I wan to show the world that when they fight and kill they are just making kids like me ask this, "If they fight and hurt others then what's the point of me living?"
Ask yourself: is that what you want? 

We....

We fight,
Sure we all do that sometimes.
We yell,
Well when you're stuck in the same room with the person you can't stop thinking about it gets annoying.
We threaten to leave,
But we come back to say we're sorry.
We stop talking,
But we keep thinking about each other.
We always say we're done,
But we come back to see if we can fix this.
We say we're sorry,
All is forgiven.
We kiss,
My heart is yours...... 

Thank You...

Thank you for letting me be your friend all those years. Thank you for making me feel like I'm wroth something. Thank you for making my love wroth more than a second. Thank you for standing by me on those tough days. Thanking you for letting me cry in your arms. Thank you for letting me in and keeping me there.
Even though you aren't around anymore, I still want to say, "Thank you my good and, only, friend."
For Midnight, I'm still missing you.

Anger

He can't claim himself down to prove a point.
She can't see the other lines.
They choose to fight.
We are the innocent that take the cries.
She won't choose the right because to do so they'll lose their might.
But does it matter when the innocent cry?
When they can't foresee what might happen.
When they're down and tired of what happened.
When all that is left for them is to look forward to is seeing eyes of death.
No God can save them, so why try to pray?
There's no meaning to life if the ones whom gave you it fight.
 We're just a piece in a chess game, nothing more.
He is still angry and so is she, but the saddest part is; they forgot about me......
Happy Birthday oh lonely me......

What I Wrote Before Trying out for the Basketball Team...

So I guess I'm going through with this? I've done all the page work and now I'm doing the hard work. To process myself. Prove myself wroth something. And even if I don't make it was for me. Win or lose it was for me to try.
I did this to try new things. I did this to show people I'm still here. I did this because I don't want to be another picture in the year book. I did this. I'm doing this. So if I make it I will smile and if I don't I'll just laugh it out. They won't get tears from me. I'd just show them all my hard work and if they say no then I just need to focus on my other skills.
I did this
And I'm ready.....
I hope......

The Depression

The clouds fall down on my face making the same embrasure as we use to do. As every flake touched my face the flashbacks of you bleeds in my eyes.
The trusting smiles, the warm eyes that told me to keep holding on, and those arms that held me tight.
Blood rained from my eyes when I got to the never saying goodbye as I wanted. The night I got the courage to finally say it; we walked in this forest that I called 'Dream Land' we use to play here as kids. Run in the rusty grass and swam in the lake. The night we ditched prom just to make our own party here- my dream land.
the one where my heart lies.
But Dream Land was taken over by a war. A war of darkness-a war of lost love that comes back to take.
The war was murderess. Soldiers lost 'til only two stand- a light and a dark. Both prepared to lose. Both prepared to win.
The light didn't want this to become war on war. She decided to make a peace treaty one that would benefit both teams- dark and light. One that will end the blood shade, heart break, and lost.
As she told Darkness her plan he agreed with the eyes of warmth. He smiled with the pure white teeth of Hades- but something made Light trust him
As she put down her sword, Light became brighter as Darkness walked closer. Light trusted him, Light became to love him. But then Darkness did something Light didn't know what was happening until the end was near.
Darkness held on Light and hugged her until the drops of blood reached the pure white clouds.
Light was never found.
People searched.
                          People prayed.
But Darkness won
                            that bitter day...     
With the knife, that now buried in her chest, cut the way right into her heart....

Keep Me in Your Thoughts.

Keep me in your thoughts,
Tears aren't the true way I wish to die.
No pain.
Just peace.
Don't let my memories go.
Hold them please.
Don't hang your head for my mistakes.
Stand pround.
Make a difference with what happened today.
Please.
Don't let my life go without telling my story.

How I was abused.
How I was trapped in a world of lies.
How I thought I was a stranger.
How my mind killed me every time.

Don't forget to tell them the good parts too.

How I loved every minute of spending time with you guys.
How I would wish to have another second with you.
How I became a writer.
How I helped so many people believe that they weren't alone.

Please don't forget my life and what's it about.
Please, make this the last thing I'll ever ask you.
Please
          Please
                    Please
Don't forget.....

My Life in a poem...

Great.
My life is ruined.

Once more
I have no one.

Straight up
No one wants me.

So,
I'm worthless to them.

The tears
Crash down on me like storm waves.

I wish
For the caring arms of someone.

But
No one want to do that.

So
I die inside.

My feelings
Are gone.

Disappeared
That's what I wish I could do.

Never come back
To the world that hates me.

Burn
The Emotions.

Become
Numb.

Beloved: The Letters.

Dear Jenna,

I know it's been ages since written and for that I am truly sorry. I know that you must be half worried and the other half upset for my presents now. I remember when you died, last May, and told me to write you in my dreams and place them by you longing grave. I did that for sometime before returning back to work for school. When, just a day ago, I've gotten a visit from a woman asking me if I've seen you in last Monday. I told her you had pasted by she didn't seem to believe me. She began to yell at the top of her lungs, "My daughter isn't dead!" I felt terrible horrible for that old woman madly insane saying she was your daughter. But she's not writing a dead girlfriend right now so I guess we would both be taken for our insanity.
Anyway, I know I'm not heading home yet. The winter souls will allow me to come home to see you for sometime, but I don't believe the gate-keeper would be happy about me coming back. I hope to find my soul by the end of this month and, if not, I'll come home next year in the spring.

I miss you Jenna. Take care of the team until I get home,

Zan

Happy Valentine's Day Poem!

Love.

My life is made because you hold my hand.
My dreams are endless with every hug you give me.
My wants and needs aren't anything now as long as you're here.
My nightmares turn away when I see your face.
My rain cloud disappears when you smile.
My life is complete because you live.
When my life sucks I turn to you. Always. Forever.

This is a poem from my book, Spy Life of Kyleigh Rasher

I would...

I would give my life up for you. I would fight to the death for us. I would make a new life for us if you would like it. I won't find another person like you in a thousand years. I won't be able to smile again without looking at you. Tears would fill my eyes if I didn't meet you. I would die a million times in a row if you walk out that door right now....

Stop Bullying Now!!

***NOTE: This was a nightmare I had about a young boy who got bullied his whole life and finally broke and sadly took his life to get over the pain. You might be wondering why I wrote it- well it's because I feel like that kid was real, like a real person who went through this horrible event. And he sent me his life in a dream to write about. I had so many nightmares about this poem so I wrote it down one day. The following days I wondered why I wrote that poem it made no sense to what I was writing before- which was just love songs- why do I have this to write? Well, the answer is easy. The boy made himself a doormat to be bullies. I was bullied and I hated it. I need to tell people what happens when you get bullied and how it drives you to hurt yourself until all the pain is gone. We need to stop bullying, it's horrible and makes me sick to know that this kid could just as well be anyone in our school, communities, and our towns. Well have fun reading this...*** 


Leave me alone.

Just to mute you out would be the best thing ever.

Leave
me alone.

I don't understand why you have to pick on me if I've never touched you.

Just walk away.

But I can't

You pick your target,

and pull the gun back.

I guess
I never had a chance.

I knew
I won't
make it.

I feel
like I'm not worth anything anymore.

I use to
smile, be happy, kept myself open.

But now
I'm shy, scared, and losing my grip on the world.


So let's end this now.
Put the gun to my head and pull it back.

Let the blood that bursts out be a relief.

And the ones that stain your shirt be a reminder of what you caused.

The one on your skin will morally kill you.

The nightmares you'll have will torment you.

and it's all because you won't leave me alone....